grapefruit juice



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"Grapefruit Juice" is my first on-going monograph that intimately exposes the raw emotions and realities that queer men of color inevitably endure in our lonesome. Heartbreak, while universal, renders differently for the queer man - but with an emphasis on the queer man of color. Following the end of a tumultuous relationship, I recognized how those two intersections can clash, and add additional weight to the already rigorous process of understanding oneself. 

In trying to heal, I approached different paths of easing my pains - some of which were healthy, and others of destruction. I turned to sex, weed, alcohol, food, shopping... all avoiding my real troubles. It dawned on me one day after years that I was stuck, never really regressing but never really getting any better either. I slowly began to understand that I feared acceptance; I feared moving on and trusting someone new. I wanted peace, but wouldn't dare allow myself to surrender. 

In time, I grew softer. I learned to love who I was, as well as embrace who I was beginning to become. I came across many other queer men of color along the way, and they completely changed my life. Some of these men were lovers of mine, others family, strangers, and even a few of my bestest friends. I continuously found safety in these men, but I'd like to think we all find it in each other. 

This work documents my overcomings, my joys, and my challenges in sex, love, friendship, and myself. It's the preservation of the men that have come and gone within my life, and the experiences that shape and mold us to our truest selves and each other. The images, the men, and my words all are to serve as a vessel for all queer men of color - they are to be an urge to feel our emotions completely, and a safe place to recognize that none of us are alone emotionally.